


Squeeze My Hand as Hard as It Hurts

by Sailorhathor



Category: My So-Called Life
Genre: F/F, Femslash, Sexual Experimentation, Teen Angst, Yuletide, Yuletide 2004
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-12-20
Updated: 2004-12-20
Packaged: 2017-10-22 20:56:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/242490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sailorhathor/pseuds/Sailorhathor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After another botched attempt at sex with Jordan, Angela seeks solace in a friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Squeeze My Hand as Hard as It Hurts

  
Written by Laurel (Sailorhathor)

_A story in the "My So-Called Life" fandom. This was written for the 2004 Yuletide Challenge, which is a Secret Santa project for obscure fandoms. I was originally going to write this in three parts, with two more sections featuring Ricky, Jordan, Rayanne, and Brian, but I ran out of time and the story got shortened because of it. One day, I'll write the other two parts, finishing it up. But for now, you only get the first part._

Rated Adult17+ for graphic sexual situations. If you don't enjoy femslash (a female/female pairing), please just move on to another story.

        After all that had happened lately, Sharon was not that surprised to open her front door to find Angela standing on the porch looking lost, hurt, and teary-eyed. "Can we, like, talk?" she'd said in a voice heavy with emotion, fidgeting from one foot to the other self-consciously, and Sharon had, of course, invited her in. They'd been back on speaking terms for a while now, though Sharon kept her mouth shut on many issues concerning Angela. Tonight, she would finally speak a bit more freely.

        "What's wrong with me, Sharon?" Angela whined in a voice raspy from crying as they sat on one of the beds in Sharon's room, like they always had growing up together as best friends. "Why can't I just relax? Why do I always freeze up when Jordan tries to go all the way with me?"

        Sharon, looking at her in an almost motherly way, scoldingly, asked, "What happened?"

        Ducking her head, Angela told her the story of how Brian had written the apology note for Jordan, how he had pretty much admitted his feelings for her, and how she had gotten in the car with Jordan anyway, all told through the veil of her dyed red hair hanging over her face. She wasn't sure why she had left Brian just standing there. Maybe, in hindsight, that had been a cruel thing to do. After all, Brian's note had put Angela and Jordan back together, when Brian wanted Angela for himself. But even he knew that when it came to Jordan, Angela's brain sort of shorted out.

        As usual, Jordan had taken her somewhere to park and tried to coax her into sleeping with him, as if forgiving him for what he'd done with Rayanne suddenly meant she was ready.

        "I just freaked out again," Angela said in a tone of self-loathing. "I couldn't go through with it. He was, like, touching my thigh, and I knew what he was leading up to, but I just told him to stop." Her face crumpled into fresh sobs. "And he goes, 'Oh, so Rayanne will sleep with me, but you won't?' I got pissed and stormed out."

        "Who wouldn't after a boneheaded comment like that?" Rolling her eyes, Sharon bobbed her head around while she spoke, which made the ponytail on her head bounce and swish. "I mean, I know Jordan's gorgeous, but while they were handing out brains..."

        "You shouldn't say things like that about him," Angela chastised through her tears. "He has a learning disability."

        "What does that have to do with him being an insensitive asshole led around by his dick?"

        Not being able to help it, Angela burst out laughing. Sharon didn't have obscenity-filled outbursts very often, so it was fairly funny when she did. "Sharon!"

        "I mean it, Angela! You make too many excuses for him. You've got to face it - he isn't very bright. And all he seems to want is sex. Is that really what you want out of a boyfriend?"

        Angela looked at her hands again, pretending her fingers were very interesting. "I don't know what I want," she finally said. "Part of me knows what you're saying is true, and that he did a really awful thing, sleeping with Rayanne, but the other part just can't stop obsessing over him. That part of me wants to see what sleeping with Jordan would be like." She said this as if talking about sex with Jordan would make it happen. There was obvious reluctance in her voice. "But I always freak and run. I'm such a baby."

        Sharon looked at Angela through that curtain of red hair and felt protective affection for her. She tapped the other girl's knee. "You're just scared because you don't have much experience, and Jordan's about as gentle as a raging bull." She was pleased to bring another smile to Angela's face with that remark. "You just need a little knowledge to loosen you up. To get to know your own body and what it can feel." Sharon paused, then asked, "Do you masturbate?"

        Stunned, Angela could not reply for a moment, only let out a high-pitched laugh as a dark blush seeped into her cheeks. "I can't believe you asked me that!"

        "Oh come on, Angela, we're women of the 90's." Sharon sat up straighter, grinning.

        "But to ask me something like that..." She looked tentatively at the brown-haired beauty who had been voted the girl with the best rack in school on that childish poll earlier in the year, and let her eyes dart over those breasts now, pushing at the fabric of Sharon's cotton pajama top. Angela wondered if she ever touched those breasts, making the nipples hard as they were now. They poked at the pajama top; Angela could make them out clearly. She blushed deeper, and gave in to her curiosity. "Do you?"

        Sharon knew that Angela needed confidence; she needed this to stop being such a big deal. Reassurance from a friend would help. She responded, "Sure!" very cheerfully, and added, "My mother has a vibrator. She tried to hide it, but I found it, and I've used it."

        Angela practically dove into the covers, squealing embarrassed laughter at just the nonchalant tone of Sharon's voice when she declared that she had not only masturbated, but had used a _vibrator_ , a _sex toy_! Her _mother's_!

        Not allowing Angela's shock to deter her one bit, Sharon continued, "There is no shame in it, Angela. Adults do this stuff all the time." She kept her unshakable, proud posture throughout this entire unorthodox conversation.

        Angela still could not believe what she was hearing. "But - your mother's! I could never do that with something that belonged to my mother." Just the thought of Patty Chase even owning a thing like that made her head want to implode. Sharon's mom was cool; Angela almost expected Camille Cherski to have one, but _her_ mother... Angela would _die_.

        Sharon spat back, "What, do you think I wouldn't _clean_ it first?!"

        Angela's face disappeared into the covers again, issuing muffled guffaws.

        Sharon smacked Angela's knee this time and said, "The problem is, you can't make the decision of whether or not you should have sex with Jordan with a clear head because you have so little experience with your own body and the things it can feel. The whole idea of sex is just, like, scary to you. I'm going to fix it so you can rebuff him 'cause he doesn't deserve you, not because you're afraid."

        Ignoring the insult, Angela cautiously asked, "How?"

        Sharon grinned and nodded once, causing her ponytail to bob again. "I'm giving you sex lessons!"

*****

  


        Lying on her stomach on Sharon's parents' bed, Angela felt a mixture of nervousness and anticipation. Sharon had insisted they use her parents' bed not only because it was bigger, but because her parents' room had a VCR. Heath and Anne were currently on the TV screen stripping each other - the girls had watched most of this "marital aid" tape once before, after school. Angela thought it was just a porn tape with a self-help label, but since she'd never seen _real_ pornography, what did she know? Sharon knew where her parents hid practically everything, including the super fattening cookies her father was not supposed to have but indulged in anyway, and their stash of soft-core porn.

        Sharon had been with Kyle. Sharon was _experienced_. Not as experienced as Rayanne, but experienced in a classy way.

        She asked the first difficult question of their encounter. "The other time we watched this tape, did you get kind of hot?"

        Angela ducked her head, wide-eyed. "Umm... kinda." She wasn't sure what else to say, so she asked, "Are you sure your parents aren't going to come home while we're watching this?"

        "Yes, Angela, I told you - they're out of town. Just relax."

        How could she relax under the growing sexual tension as they watched the two attractive lovers caress each other on the screen, knowing that Sharon had some sort of plan for her that she'd called "sex lessons"? In the back of her mind, she desired the sweet, intimate comfort the other girl was just about promising to provide after another disastrous encounter with Jordan. Did that make her weird, that she felt comforted by the idea of letting Sharon touch her, but couldn't let Jordan get into her pants?

        No. That wasn't weird at all. Sharon was an old trusted friend, and it wasn't like they were in love or something. This was _instruction_. Experimentation.

        Although, the fact that Angela knew Sharon's parents had a pair of _handcuffs_ in this very room somewhere made it all a little awkward. It wasn't like Sharon was going to use them on her or anything! Or... would she?

        Angela suddenly laughed at that idea, stifling it behind her hand.

        Sharon looked at her fondly. She suddenly asked, "Is it making you hot now?"

        Blushing, she shifted in the bed. "Yeah."

        "What does that make you want to do?"

        Angela swallowed hard. "I don't know. I'd like to do stuff with Jordan, but you know how that always goes..."

        After a pause, Sharon said, "Before you give it up to him, you should make him go down on you. I got Kyle to do it all the time. God, that feels _so good_ when a guy does it right."

         _I will not react like a stupid little girl by giggling at what she just said._ "Really?"

        "Yeah." Sharon moved closer to her. She smelled like some type of sweet perfume. "Turn over on your back."

        Angela willingly did it, craving not only relief from the heat between her legs, but a settling of her curiosity to know what all of those things Jordan wanted to do felt like.

        "Have you ever let Jordan feel you up?"

        Looking up at Sharon, Angela shook her head.

        Sharon took one of Angela's hands and put it on one of her own small breasts, the ones definitely not voted the best rack in school, and caressed it through her shirt with both of their fingers. The nipple instantly began to respond. Angela let out a soft breath of surprise, but also approval. "It feels even better when someone else does it," Sharon informed her.

        Angela enviously ran her eyes over Sharon's breasts again. "Yours are so much better. They're just perfect."

        Taking a quick look at where Angela's eyes were focused, Sharon just shrugged. "I don't always feel so great about them, but thanks anyway." She suddenly took her top off over her head, exposing her breasts. "Kyle could never get enough of sucking them. Men go so nuts over tits."

        Angela glanced at her own lack of a chest and grew solemn. Realizing what she was thinking, Sharon tried to take her mind off of it and move on. She was starting to tremble. "I want you to keep touching your breasts, okay? Get really familiar with those puppies."

        Angela chortled, and continued fingering at her nipples through her shirt. Although she felt a little embarrassed over this act, she also started to get into it. Something about looking at Sharon's naked breasts while she touched her own just made it more intense, made her more excited much quicker. Angela began to squirm on the bed.

        "Before you ever let Jordan get into your pants, even though he doesn't deserve it, I want you to make sure he does this, Angela. It'll make it feel better."

        Before Angela could ask what she meant, Sharon had started to undo her pants. She didn't recoil, didn't squirm out of it, just allowed Sharon to do what she wanted, beginning to breathe quicker. Sharon slid a hand down inside, into Angela's panties; her fingers slipped in-between the lips there to find the area already very wet. Angela gasped when Sharon's fingers pressed on her clit. "Mmuh."

        "I can't believe you've never fingered yourself before," Sharon remarked.

        Angela couldn't believe it either when she felt the intense pleasure it sent through her body when Sharon slid her fingers up and down between her thighs. Every stroke over her clit made her quiver and want to moan out loud. "God, that's so..." Angela breathed out loudly.

        "Yeah, exactly," Sharon grinned. She recalled the first time Kyle had put his hand under her skirt and fingered her for at least half an hour while he kissed her neck. Sharon could live on that attention.

        She soon stepped up the speed at which her fingers moved, covering more area, diving into each fold before nearly attacking Angela's clit with fast pulses of touch, not stopping, circling around and on top of it with the tips of her first two fingers. Angela at first sucked in a loud breath, then panted harder and harder until her hips began to grind back.

        "It... is it... it feels... it's almost too much when you do that!" Angela moaned, but she wasn't making any move to stop her.

        "See what I told you?" As she continued fingering Angela, Sharon watched the sex video on the TV. Excited too, and curious, she wanted to go further. "Hey, help me get these off, okay?"

        Angela assisted Sharon in the removal of her jeans and panties so she wouldn't have to stop what her busy hand was doing. Now naked below the waist, she could see Sharon's hand working between her legs; the sight was fascinating and a little embarrassing at the same time. What Sharon did next was an action the two of them would keep between themselves, for it was too intimate to be explained away by the idea that Sharon was just instructing Angela in the ways of her body.

        She remarked, "Just wait until you get Jordan to do _this_ ," and dipped her head in-between Angela's legs, taking her hand away and instead, running her tongue over the girl's clit and in-between the lips of her pussy. Angela shivered so hard, the quaking could almost be called violent, and let out an involuntary cry of pleasure. Shockwaves of delicious frenzy tickled up her spine at the need for Sharon to do that _again_.

        Before Angela could recover, the other girl brought her head down a second time and licked at the pulsing clit several times, beginning to circle and then press down on it, like she had done with her fingers, just imitating what Kyle had done when he did these things to her.

        Angela shuddered again at the renewed assault to her self-control. She couldn't help but make noise in response, moaning and crying out. Part of her wanted to ask questions that she knew were stupid, like, _"Is it supposed to feel that good?"_ but that was exactly why she didn't ask them. She already knew the answers. This is why Jordan was always pressuring her to have sex with him: because it felt so mind-numbingly good. It was so intense to almost be too much to take, but contained so much pleasure that one willingly took the risk.

        "Ahhh... ahhh... uhh... God..." Angela refused to moan Sharon's name. That would make it too much like a lover's encounter.

        It didn't take long for her to start shaking harder and moaning louder, breath catching in her throat. She would soon orgasm, Sharon would make sure, because she wanted Angela to understand all that her body could experience without fear.

        As tremors started in her legs, Angela realized this was building up to something. Was this really how it happened? Was this an orgasm? And was _Sharon_ about to give one to her? She put that out of her mind; it would ruin it, and at this point, Angela _wanted_ it.

        Sharon licked down hard, then repeated this action, going deep inside before coming back up to concentrate on the other girl's clit. Her tongue undulated there. Angela, giving a massive quiver, panted until her breath suddenly stopped, turning into a loud, shrill gasp. "AhhhUHhhh!" she cried; real words weren't necessary to express how it felt. True pleasure rarely needed actual words. Angela's legs tensed up, nearly pinning Sharon's head between her thighs, but they almost instantly spread further open as she came. She cried out until the orgasm played itself through. "Ahhh, ahh, ohhhhh!"

        Sharon continued working with her tongue until Angela's vocalizations began to quiet to heavy breaths, and the quiver in her legs and thighs started to calm. When she finally lifted her head, she saw that Angela had been watching the video on the TV throughout most of this encounter, where Heath was just finishing up this same act on Anne. Angela didn't dare look at Sharon just yet, not until the orgasm was completely over.

        Sharon didn't need her to look at her to grin and say, "Didn't I say it would be awesome? Wait until you feel _actual sex_."

*****

  


        After they had redressed, Angela and Sharon laid on the bed and watched another part of the tape that amused them greatly, where another couple engaged in some very bad acting as well as the sexual act. The laughter they shared kept everything light in a situation that could have gotten tense very fast, after what they had just done.

        As the scene ended, Sharon posed another deep question. "So have you forgiven Jordan, then?"

        Angela sighed. She bit at a thumbnail between sentences. "I don't know. I really don't. A part of me just misses him. Too much."

        "What about Rayanne? If you forgive Jordan, shouldn't you forgive her?"

        "No," Angela immediately responded. "What she did was different."

        "Because she was your friend?" Sharon asked, already knowing this was the reason.

        Angela did not speak, only looked at her hands and nodded. She eventually found enough voice to say, "I miss her too."

        "You two need to talk. Rayanne didn't do it to hurt you," Sharon reminded her.

        "Whose side are you on?" replied Angela in a hurt tone.

        "I'm with you, Angela, it was totally bad, what they did. But I worry about you when you're going off with Jordan like nothing happened." Sharon paused, giving Angela a serious look. "And what are you going to say to Brian?"

        Sighing again, Angela sunk lower in the bed. "I don't even want to think about that right now."

        "Right, no thinking allowed." Thinking too hard about things could be disastrous, like what the implications were of two friends who had just shared their first sexual encounter, but were reluctant to discuss it. Using the remote, Sharon turned off the video and nudged Angela's knee one last time. "Let's go pig out on Ben and Jerry's."


End file.
